Since I had my kind of end of life process earlier on this year, I decided that to embark on this project and unfortuntately find myself about 6 months behind as far as documenting my journey is concerned, which can sometimes mess with the context of the narrative.
Yes, I have a little bit of work to do to catch you up with where things are at. At the beginning of December 2018 I’m really struggling with fatigue, which I think is from the accumulation of 12 weeks of Chemo toxins in my system.
I didn’t really understand what fatigue was but it’s interesting how even though we haven’t the energy for simple tasks; there is still this tendency to be our own slave drivers / critics. I have this time and there’s so much that I can do with it in my head, but literally all I’m good for is being in bed.
So many tasks unfinished at this stage but I just do what I can, as and whenever I am physically able. I don’t have the answers and this whole process of Chemo can really affect your thought processes and emotions. All you can do is hold on, be patient and wait for that shit to pass.
I find sleep (if possible) to really be my default option when things get really shit and I still have difficulty remembering to drink so I can protect my kidneys and keep hydrated. I’m hoping that I can break out of this creative slump now I have got this out. Tricking the mind into believing that we’re now up to date so the motivation to carry on with the narrative returns…